I was recently selcted to represent UCT at the International Human Rights Exchange held in Cape Town. It drew together citizens of the West with those of us said to be in South. Under very cramped conditions, where we couldn't easily escape our prejudices and fears, we engaged around issues of human rights, democracy, developement and most notably 'race'. Needless to say things became very heated, sometimes to the point of losing bonds that had been established. Me being the controvercial, blatant speaker that I am, commented that the main problem with the race issue in the group was mostly between black Americans and white people. It became quickly apparant that this forum was the first opportunity black Americans had to engage directly around issues of 'race'with white people, which sometimes became emotional. What I learnt most about the whole experience, a month long exchange from June to July 2005, was that we really do occupy different spaces and points in history. "race' is not really talked about in America and things are very far from what I imagined. I appreciated the fact that in South Africa we can speak very openly and blantantly about 'race' and tribalism, and then afterward go out together for a drink. I truly thought I couldn't suffer from culture shock. Never say never. Still, i would encourage everyone to apply for next year's exchange. Check out the website: www.ihre.org You will get a chance to visit the stunning landscapes of South Africa, and also get a chance to see yourself revealed in someone else's eyes-sometimes it's not such a pretty picture-but it's real!

I was enjoying dinner with an aunt and uncle of mine as well as with my older brother. My my, how different the worlds are that we each inhabit. Not only generational differences, but gender differeces. IT got me thinking, how can the world change if our parents are still teaching us the same bullshit they learnt,like as my uncle believes, its better for his son to be promiscuous than for his daughter. What was most startling however is how this man, and men of his generation, like my father, insist on living an illusion. They say things like "you can do whatever you want as my child, but just don't do it infront of me-leave it at the gate." So no matter what "deviant" behaviour you may be engaging in, like having a boyfriend, as long as you pretend to be virginal and "pure" then its considered respect towards your parents. Is this a typically African attitude, a male attitude, a generational attitude? In a world were one is confronted by so many ways of existing, I have realised that it is harder to be all the facets of me with my family, the very people who are supposed to know me and love me for all that I am.When I am at home, wearing a mask becomes the only way of maintaining the delicate equilibrium that is family life.What a dinner!!

I had my first job interview today. I felt like i was a drama student. What is it about getting employed that makes you feel like you are putting on a performance, an action that requires us to downplay our lesser attributes and pretend, for however long, that we are "perfect for the job." I have realised how societal norms expect us to always be that which we are not-perfect. We can no longer be flawed beings in this world. You are not allowed to look different, make mistakes, show emotion, basically, be human. It's like we ourselves are turning into the robotic machines we are failing to build-perfectly functional yet deviod of any emotional capacity. Today, i felt like a liar in that interview. All I wanted to say was "honestly, I can do the job, i need some training but I have the heart." Yet, I had to pretend that I know everything. There is definitely an artform to conducting an interview, a manipulation of the audience. And if you play your cards right, no matter how moronic you are, you will get it. Just look at Bush!!!

i used to fancy myself a typical sagitarius, always up for the challenge of a new place, new people, new experiences. Was i in for a shock?When I moved to Cape Town, I got all the newness I yearned for and indeed everything was different and challenging. I also however discovered a new type of newness, and a new type of challenge. The challenges that you encounter with yourself, your heart and soul as you exist in this new forum of university. In it you meet new ideas of religion, new philosophies of life and it literally breaks down all that you had constructed of yourself and the world around you. WOW. It's been and still continues to be a road filled with much...stuff..the stuff of life!! What is hard however, is retaining that bit of yourself that you came in with. That bit that makes you- you!!!And continuing in it in the face of adversity, aggravation, miscommunicatiion, misinterpretation, disappontment the works!!I feel truly on the way to accepting that everything changes form at some point and being happy to watch and retain the lessons i discover along the way.

I really like this peom because in its simplicity,it describes life's journey. I cant say life has been bad to me. I am so much better, materially speaking, than millions.but I am yet to really tap into life, to fully drink of its pleasures and feel my feet firm in the ground. It seems like everyone else has found their place, how long til it's my turn?